Why the hell are you NARRATING MY LIFE

specifically events from roughly June-July ish 2010 to now?

seriously. Stupid Mistake? Talk Talk Talk? Black Out The Sun? almost everything else on that album?
It’s like you were reading this blog. or my (now-secret) relationships Tumblr.

 fess up. You totally were.

(and I haven’t even gotten to the b-sides yet. COME ON COLLECTOR’S ED HURRY UP)

come on. This is a major situation of Killing Me Softly here. Except you’re not strumming anything, just singing. Singing my pain with your words.
Killing me softly with your songs.
Killing me sooooooooooooooooftlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… 

I’m going to your gig next week. Bringing Mark along. I’m giving up my 1-hour fanclub head start because y’all won’t allow guest passes and I’d rather sit with Mark in the middle of the Tivoli then be right up close but not have him there.

He can hold me when I inevitably collapse as the memories all come back to me.

And then Bloodstained Heart will start and I’ll hold him in my arms and remember how many times he’s picked up my mess when I was down.
That song really made me realise just how much he’s been there for me, and how much I love him.

you have been narrating my life for 13 years. Half my lifetime.
Sometimes the song doesn’t make sense until something specific happens, and then it all clicks.
Sometimes it’s catharsis.
Sometimes it’s the only thing that understands.

 I want to give you a hug.
It’s the least I can do to thank you for being the soundtrack to my life, especially during very pivotal volatile years.
Hopefully I’ll be lucky and catch you around the gig.

(- assuming I haven’t already broken down and frightened all the attendees with my bawling.
If you play that one song supposedly named after your sister, I’m definitely going to break.
Your sister’s name is Tracey. That’s not the name of the song.
The song shares a name with she who broke my heart - 
and sparked that months-long despair that I’m not entirely sure I’ve recovered from
and which I see reflected in this album.
I’ll probably be searching for her face in the crowds.)

does it ever get better, Darren?
You found your love after it all, but whoever this person - or people - is
they must have made a big impact on you
to inspire an entire album’s worth of songs
do you still sometimes think of them and wonder?
wonder if they’ll listen to this album
wonder if they’ll know it’s about them?

will she wonder?

One week.
One week till I hear these live
With one of the loves of my life
- yes, I may be greedy
Or maybe my heart just so easily attaches
to anyone who sends a spark of
really getting who I am

people like these don’t come by very often
(if at all)
losing them is like losing a part of your soul.

spirits from graves may claim I’m creepy
but as you say - the heart wants what it wants

right now I want to see you
with my matey
Share a hug
Release the pain

and maybe find heartspace or a person to not be torn everything I hear your album again.

as MJ is to you, you are to me
thank you
even when you kill me

Love
Me

p.s. mutiny on the battleships
hand over those secret codes
for access to booty
;)